Dag-Nabbit

Writing this post is going to be a challenge.

First Rule of being a mom:
1. DON'T LEAVE THINGS DANGEROUS OR EXPENSIVE CLOSE TO THE EDGE OF THE KITCHEN COUNTER!
We seem to be doing pretty well on keeping the knife block far away from the edge... my cell phone - not so much.
Because of this, I have been without a cell phone for TWO WEEKS! If you could talk to JJ, and translate mono-syllabic, spanglish toddler-ese PLEASE CALL ME (on my house phone!)

2. DON'T GO TO THE BATHROOM!
I don't play baseball, but that must be what they mean by "relief pitcher". When the real pitcher has to go to the bathroom - they bring in his relief? right? I need to buy myself a "relief pitcher" so that I can be afforded the privelege of going to the bathroom EVER AGAIN!
Because while I was in there yesterday, JJ and Jenna counted the number of crackers in an entire sleeve, and how many Cheez-It's that they fit into that useless box.
*no picture available - see rule three*

3. LET NO THING IN YOUR LIFE BE SACRED!
Because if you love it - it will be destroyed, tortured, dropped, kicked, or laden with viruses. I grabbed my camera to post a picture of the DISASTER created by the babies yesterday, and remembered - I DON'T HAVE A COMPUTER!!! I am working on husband's laptop.

I could post a lot more rules - what rules should I add?
The problem is - I need to stand at the door and wait patiently (read: desperately) for my new best friend - the mailman. Hopefully he is bringing my new blackberry, and awesome winter shoes today!
i suffer.