Birthdays are a time for Redemption

Dear Daddy,

Happy Birthday.
You are our super hero.

Remember when you cut your thumb so badly last week, and needed a lot of stitches. It was hard for us to see our super hero injured.
... you redeemed yourself when you cut the stitches out with a pair of my craft scissors.

Remember when you worked on winter lawns for so many hours in October we thought you might have moved out, but couldn't really tell?
... you redeemed yourself when you agreed to take the day off for your birthday.

Remember when you used your superpowers to squish, squeeze, torture or annoy any one of us to death?
... you redeemed yourself by being hilariously funny and making all three of us feel like we are your best friend.

Remember when you dismantled, rearranged, "improved" or "Tim Allen-ed" anything else that belongs to me?
... you redeemed yourself by being the handiest husband I know and fixing everything that ever breaks.

Me and the kids think you are the best thing since round tortillas, but don't let it go to your head.
Happy Birthday, Daddy!

My New Secretary

Yesterday Joseph (let me remind you - three years old) and I were sitting and eating lunch, watching some afternoon PBS.

He was sitting right next to me, playing with my new phone. Suddenly, I hear my mother-in-law's voice.

"Hello, Nicole".
"No, it's JJ"
"AAAAYYYY chiquitito, pedrazo de que que que... como estas nino bonito, hermoso... (Honestly I have no idea what she is saying...)"
"Hi Tita,... you go in your van, you come to my house, you ring my door and I will open it and you take me to McDonald's"
"Aye chiquito, you come over to my house"
"No, Tita, you come to my house, you take me to McDonalds"
...
fast forward about fifteen minutes... when despite all of the plans I had for the day - I am at Tita's house... with Joseph.


I complained to his father about his new found ability to undermine my parenting, my plans... my ability to cook... Guero laughed.


At about seven p.m., I called somebody on the Stake High Council that I barely know. He is in another ward, and I can just say that I have a great deal of respect for him and his wife...

He was not home, but his wife said that he would TRY to call me back before 8:30.


Guero got home at 7:45, and we were busy. I made him some sandwiches, we talked and watched our show. At 8:15 the phone rang twice, and then that person hung up.


By the time I got up to get the phone, it was no longer ringing. Since I was up - I started the washer, the dryer, the dishwasher... we locked up, and I went upstairs to put the kids to bed.

When I went in Karina's room, we put fresh sheets on her bed (her bunkbed - took extra time) I tell you this just to illustrate how much time passed after the phone ringing)


Finally, I got to JJ's room. I picked up some toys, and got him ready for bed. I could clearly see something under the sheets - it was the house phone!


If there is a soundtrack that plays in the background of my life... cue the tires screeching or the Psycho music.


"Joseph, did you pick up the phone when it rang?"
"Yes, Mommy"
In my head... I'm thinking, "NOOOOO!!!!" (but by that time Guero was already sleeping, Karina was down for the count... and I am too pooped to punish)
"Son, who was it?"
"It was Daddy"
"Son, it was not Daddy. What did you say?"
"I said, HIIIIIII Daddy, when are you coming home?"
I checked the caller I.D. - and sure enough - Anonymous Stake High Council Person that I do not know.. from another ward... had called at 8:15. It was now 8:49. Too late to call back and attempt to redeem myself.


Strangely, my secretary and my mechanic work for chicken nuggets.


You get what you pay for, I guess.

aged to perfection

Our princess daughter turned 8 years old on Saturday Sept. 10.

She was very excited, and I think she had a really fun day.

some things to know about our princess at 8:

She has started Activity Days. She absolutely loves it! I am so grateful that two of my best friends are her leaders.
She has already memorized all of her scriptures - the entire quad, and next week she will teach her group needlepoint.

She will be baptized two weeks from Saturday.
She has hand sewn one million crystals onto her gown already.

She took her first piano lesson last Wednesday.
She has been regaling us with Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker ever since.

She is in the second grade.
She is preparing for her SAT's in her free time.

Baby brother is her best friend.
They play Barbies and do each other's hair.

She is incredibly helpful around the house.
She painted a replication of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel ceiling in the stairwell of our home.

She wants to be a seamstress when she grows up.
Project Runway called and asked her opinion on the most recent contestants.

She is unusually tall.
Statuesque and graceful, just like her mom.

She is uncommonly clever.
a Patented genius, just like her dad.

She is our princess,
perfectly humble in every way.
this picture was taken last week on our camping trip. It is not good quality, because the trailer was pitch black other than the light from the dvd player. I just think this is an image that daddy is not going to want to forget. These days are just too short, and quickly slipping away.

Love you, Hubband

Outside the Temple, Aug. 11, 2001
...and our song...

Too much cheese

Guero hates cheese. I love it.
He will eat eggs for breakfast if I feel the need to put cream cheese on something else.

Guero hates taking time off from work. I love vacations.
We bought the camping trailer. (It actually means, "we just went camping ten times - now it is my turn to go to San Diego... in a hotel!!)

I hate fake violence. He likes fake reality tv.
If I feel the need to watch something remotely feminine, I have my DVR upstairs, he has his netflix down.

He wants to mark his territory, I hate change.
When we bought this house - we agreed - the outside belongs to him, and the inside belongs to me. I don't tell him to stop bringing home orphan cacti, he doesn't mess with the nest.

I can't help but think that the number two reason that I love Guero more now than I did ten years ago - is that we had to make it work, and we did.

3 Puppies

We have had three puppies.

Karina Sky looks just like her dad.
She is so pretty, and smart, and she is a great artist.

She is sensitive just like her mom.
She loves to cook, and craft and she is a great big sister.

Joseph Jonah looks just like his mom.
He is eager to please, loves to clean and is very handsome.

He is charming just like his dad.
He loves camping, and tools and making people laugh.

The number three reason that I love Guero more now than I did ten years ago -
without him, I could never enjoy the three greatest blessings that we have ever received.

We love all of our puppies.
Our piglets.
Our chicken fish.
Our stinkies.
Our monsters.
Our two tiny tons and one princess daughter.

For Ever

Number four reason -
Between us we have four parents, ten siblings, two brothers-in-law, one sister-in-law, a mass of cousins, aunts and uncles, seven nieces, and one nephew...
and each and every one gets the same.
Whether they are mine or his or both.

I love Guero now, more than I did ten years ago because he gives to all of them equally. He treats them all with the same care, and affection. He is considerate, loving and kind to all of them. With a big family, this is a big job, and we compliment each other and make strong the other's weaknesses.

I am happy to know that we are all a family forever.

5 mishaps

make no mistake - this is a countdown...
We went to our favorite camping spot this weekend - plus two new additions to our camping family.
We had a new "little" Karina-sized quad, and a brand new, out of the box generator!

1. Trailers are temperamental. Going up the 17, the trailer decided it no longer agreed to carry our two new companions.
A disagreement ensued.
I felt lucky to make it to Flag alive.

I freaked, Guero did not.

2. Driving down the ten mile dirt road to our spot, we hit a bump, lost a pipe connection and dumped a ton of our precious water.

I freaked, Guero did not.

3. Upon arriving at our spot, we began popping up the trailer. I very quickly realized that we only left one thing at home, the bag full of all of the sheets, pillowcases and my gigantic stack of cleaning rags.

I freaked, Guero did not.

4. Upon further investigation of the trailer - we realized that we had a water leak inside the trailer as well - causing an awful mess, and loss of electricity to things like... the lights, the stereo and the water pump.

I freaked, Guero did not.

5. The brand spankin' new generator - never started.

I freaked, Guero did not.

The number FIVE reason that I love my husband more now than I did ten years ago - He never ever FREAKS OUT!

I would like to add that these were the bigger freak outs that I had on this trip.

Here are some more things that made me act a little nutso -
1. The new quad decided to break down, but was quickly fixed - in between those two events, I freaked out.
2. Karina decided to be less afraid, and found the gas pedal on her new quad. I freaked out.
3. The dog (who shall remain nameless) peed on JJ's chair, and on the new generator. freaked.
4. A small woodland creature got into our non-perishable food box and tore into an (unopened) bag of tortillas. freaked.
5. Karina and Joseph rode all the way home with zero entertainment... much freaking out ensued.
6. After completely soaping myself - shampoo and otherwise, I went to turn the shower back on to rinse, only to find that not only was the hot water tank empty - so was the regular tank - NO. WATER. go on - ya gotta know what I did next! FREAKED OUT!!

I would also like to add that we have the best old friends, and new in the world! They were incredibly patient and extremely generous.
They gave us water, electricity, use of their tools, their toys and fed us.
We really love them a lot.
...even their dog.

Hi August, do nice.

Like JJ and that baby at the mall this morning.
The mother was a little horrified when my son "high-fived" her (probably) six month old baby in his stroller...

I would like to request that August - "do nice"

In August...
Sissy will start SECOND grade.
She will get her own post - just like always - with a back to school picture detailing how we did her hair, and which outfit she picked.

but.
guess what else?
I am going back, too!
back to school again!
most people that really know me, know how much I LOVE SCHOOL!!
so now that I will be Super mom, housekeeper extraordinaire, chef du jour, faithful member of the church, high powered career gal, and STUDENT,
so please August, take it easy.

When I finish, I will have two degrees. Impressive ones. Ones that will take your breath away when you learn how smart I am.

(In case you have not seen my diploma prominently displayed in my "office" - I never even ordered the official copy - I have a degree from GCC in, "Thank You for Spending so much Time and Money here at GCC")

Me and Sis are going to do homework together. I am thrilled!

The Maid Does Not Live Here

She went home a few hours ago.
There are parts of this house that are sparkling, that have not sparkled since they were placed there by the home builder... about 18 years ago.

All visits to my home have been suspended unless you are willing to sign a waiver, absolving me from the responsibility of cleaning up after you. Enter at your own risk - you may now be responsible for cleaning up somebody else's mess while you are here.

Daddy will now only reside in the house from the hours of 7 p.m. - 4 p.m. Mon - Fri.. He has signed a contract paying me for my cleaning services on Saturdays in kind. Sundays - he is permitted to stay here until we leave for church - then he lives with his mother til Monday.

We are sad to report that the children could not afford my services, they have chosen to move in with Speedy - in the garden.

Billy Joel - Honesty

I sure do love Billy Joel.
I was in the mood today, and this one works.

Gonzalez Family Harvest

anybody need a pepper? tomato?
we grow our own salsa here.

21st Century Vacation

We're back.
Hopefully I will do a riveting series of posts about all of our awesome time in San Diego.

In the meantime, I have been meaning to do this one since before we left.

Last week my husband was harping on how our home has fallen behind the technology curve.
He may have implied that we fell out of it entirely, and might as well be using the Pony Express to deliver messages to our friends and family.

Fascinating.
Especially since I am the one that does the packing.
A few years ago, I put together a "permanent packing list"
Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel every time I pack, I made up a spreadsheet, saved it on my computer, and print it out every time we go anywhere, so that I can check it off as I pack.

Here is what Laura Ingalls Wilder did not take when she left Walnut grove.

1. My cell phone
2. my cell phone charger
3. Guero cell phone
4. Guero cell phone charger - car
5. camera
6. extra batteries for camera
7. cord to download pictures from camera to laptop
8. Karina - DS with games
9. DS charger
10. Joseph - Leapster, with games
11. extra batteries for Leapster
12. pink computer (a.k.a. DVD player for the car)
13. charger for DVD player, movies, and remote
14. Laptop
15. Laptop charger
16. Laptop air card
17. ipod with headphones
18. ipod cord - to charge and used so that we can play it in the truck
19. GPS, GPS charger

by the way.
The kids were bored the entire 7 hours there and 7 hours back.
Frankly, I think if we went by horse and buggy, they would have been far more entertained, and far less annoying.

p.s. - I would not have made this a numbered list if not for the fact that each of these items is found in a different hiding place, and all have to be located, and packed ... by me.

did I say love?

did I say that I LOVE his "work ethic"?
today his work ethic woke him up at 2:30 a.m. - he left at 3.
He said that he could not sleep, so why lay there and think about everything he has to do.
My intention was to iron his clothes and go back to sleep.
Unfortunately, his words stuck with me.
Why lay here and think about everything that I have to do?
So, I, too am still up. But I did accomplish a lot.

another thing to LOVE... when you inadvertently teach your children horrible things.
After I drop off Karina in the mornings, I turn on my radio show for the seven minute drive home. It is almost always the same time, so the radio show opening music plays.
The intro is a cut from the movie "Network", which I have never actually seen, but heard of a few times.
To know that this is a local crazy conservative talk show might help...
I wanted to get a youtube clip of the actual rant from the movie, but it is totally inappropriate.
Here's the bad thing:
I am paraphrasing here, but I remember it goes something like this:

"I don't want you to protest, I don't want you to riot - I don't know what to do about the depression, and the inflation...
All I know is that first, you've got to get mad! You've got to say, I am a human being! You've got to say my life has value! I want you to go to the window... stick your head out and yell, 'I'm as mad as H-E-**, and I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE'"
which then repeats... several times...
I'M AS MAD AS *H-E double hockey sticks* and I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Joseph Jonah has memorized it... and was "singing along".
I almost bit my bottom lip off trying not to laugh. I met my newest niece Adelyn. She sure is a cute one. I LOVE her. I love her even though she made my princess daughter cry. Karina is counting the minutes until tomorrow when she can go see baby Adelyn.
(Adelyn needs a post all to herself... she is too pretty, and sweet to be stuck in the middle of this one!)

I LOVE family history. I LOVE learning the personal stories that go with these people that came before me. My dad had told me the story about my great (great) Aunt Violet (sister to great grandma Jenny - a wonderful woman) who died in the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire. A tragic and horrible death in NYC in 1911. This year marks the 100th Anniversary of the fire, and subsequent reform that took place. Because of my love for and desire to learn more about these people, I was found and asked for a comment that was published in the NY Times! Hugely exciting.
You may not know it, but I really am Ms. Gonzalez from Peoria, IL.
(I told my cousin Todd that I couldn't say that I ever had the pleasure of visiting Peoria, IL, but I was proud to be from there.)
I am also happy to inform you - I am still married. (what's with the Ms.?)
Article in the Times
gotta LOVE the media.
My awesome cousin, Todd sent me this photograph. It is my Aunt Violet (Veyla).

Finally, I LOVE XM radio. I have a favorite talk radio show that I listen to. (Please don't ask - my husband would LOVE to tell you all about it, but you would lose all respect for me...) I called in, made a comment, and so they gave me a prize! $25 to the Apple store, and $50 for Chili's! Ya think Guero will let me buy that ipad now - with my $25 bucks?
so let me take the opportunity to tell you about rude people and awkward stares. If not for that, I would not have the knowledge of the subject matter that I commented on. On behalf of people with obvious physical differences - I LOVE when a mom just asks me, "What happened to your arm" rather than staring, pointing, whispering... and generally making me feel freakish and awkward. I would LOVE to tell you all about how it is just a birthmark.

now, it is time to start this day, waking up the puppies that I
LOVE.

In Living Color

Remember that show?
If you don't remember it, but think you know Jaime Foxx, Jim Carrey or the Wayans - you gotta check out youtube clips of a skit called "Wanda".

If you do remember Wanda - you know what I mean...
JJ told me this morning he was
"Ready to go"
"I rea' to go"Please don't miss the tags... that is what your sweatpants look like when they are on inside out AND backwards.
Also, note. He is wearing a long-sleeved Christmas shirt... with (an attempt to layer) a St. Patrick's day shirt over.
The sweats are camou - on the inside.

Smarsh-mellows

If anybody is questioning my parenting this morning:
That child wore a "towel dress" (bathing suit cover made of terry cloth)
because it is Hawaiian day
and it is only half day
and it was not worth fighting over.
I made it significantly better by insisting she wear pants underneath... it was NOT 80 when we LEFT for school...

My son has been obsessively asking me every ten minutes if we are going camping.
This morning he woke up, came into my room before his eyes were even open.
"Hi Son"
"Mama, we go to the mountains?"
"ok, Son"
"we got smarsh - mellows?"
"yep"
"ok, I call Daddy, we go to mountains".

on the way home from dropping Sis off at school
He entertained me with his new-found talent
"Mama, mamaaaaaa! knock knock?"
"who's there"
"Orange paint" (Or that is what I think he is saying?)
"Orange paint who?"
"Orange paint" -
insert a fit hysterical forced laughter... from both of us...
I also got the "banana paint" version as well.
side splitting... just like his dad

we need more sleeping pills

These are the things that keep Guero up at night:
Karina went to her first birthday party today... without us.
Joseph is still awake at 9 p.m. (a rare occurrence)
Joseph has cable in his room. (circumstantial... due to a "room switch")
Joseph has learned to work the remote and his brand new Droid.
A few days ago Joseph put on his sister's chapstick, then looked at me and asked, "Am I beautiful, Mama?"
When Karina was the Weekly Raider - some boys wrote her personal notes that included things like, "you are nice..." and "you are funny" and "you are my friend".

This is what keeps me up at night:
I just had a frightening experience.
I realized the house had been quiet for too long.
I went looking for my three year old son, and I caught him doing something very scary.
He was sitting on his bed, mesmerized...
watching motocross on the Speed Network.
When he noticed me watching, he said, "this is fun, Mama".
pointing to the tv - he said,
"See - that's me".

ooooooghhhh, I got the chills.

short haired chihuahua

My princess and her new haircut
She couldn't be more excited

too close for comfort

Confession: with every potty break throughout the night - we are peeking out the drapes.
Is the car still there? Have squatters moved into the shed? Is there a party going on at the Peoria Sports Complex? Is there a fire in the alley?
It was no surprise that there were popping noises going on somewhere west of us.

After my husband's two a.m. "break", he peeked.
He woke me up with a voice I have only heard once or twice before.

"Babe, the house down the alley is on fire."

I looked out the window and didn't see a fire truck, but did see a garage fully engulfed... a few houses down on the other side of the alley.

A blaze that big... surely somebody has called the fire department already.

But what if they hadn't (it took me a few minutes to realize that).

I put on something more suitable and ran downstairs. When I opened the garage there was a man standing in the alley.

The only other person that had woken up to all of the popping and cracking noises was our most trusted and beloved neighbor, Brother Danny Taylor.

Stone Cold Sober, he was on the phone with 911.

It was really scary. The Fire Engines couldn't seem to figure out right away where the blaze was... the alley complicating things. I stood from my garage yelling at Danny, "Should we start hosing your house down?" as the blaze got bigger and bigger.

When the roof blew off the garage with a little boom and a great big fire ball, I got really scared. The flames were at least as high as the two story house. Our houses are especially close together... being in Patio homes. Easily there were lots of others at risk. All sleeping soundly.

They parked the engine in front of our garage, hopped down and started pulling hoses. I felt relieved, but it took longer than I had hoped to put out the fire completely. They brought in a ladder truck parked in the front of the house, to see that the roof was completely out.

It is three hours later. I was supposed to wake up right now to start working on my big activity today. The big engine is still parked behind our garage.

I need a nap.

The Ton is Three

my dearest ton ton turned three yesterday.
we ate nachos and beat a Spiderman pinata to a gory paper mache pulp.

My son at three years old:
he is the consummate optimist.
He believes that we are going camping almost every Saturday. He never gives up hope.
Every single day he is again surprised and excited that we have decided to once again pick up Sissy from school.

He is a trendsetter. Diapers are for geniuses.
Diapers create an atmosphere where you do not need to stop playing in order to take care of business.
They provide a barrier between yourself and the blazing hot dirt, so that you can turn that dirt into mud.
and duh. Diapers cushion the blow if you are prone to getting spanked. (which he is not, but if kids were smarter, they would have already figured this out)

Joseph is a published author. Joseph is working on his first "how to" baby board book. working title: "The Quintessential Baby Brother for Dummies". So far all of his "publications" are actually just scribbles on things that have been published by other people. Chapters that JJ has worked on this week:
Revenge
If your sister ignores you by slamming her bedroom door in your face, quickly find the thing on the outside of her room most precious to her, and utterly destroy it beyond all recognition... but do this with a smile on your face in order to confuse the enemy, "he is just a baby, he doesn't understand how important that was to you".
Repetition
If it makes Sissy scream in anger, pain, frustration or pure delight... do it over and over and over... and over.
Refine
develop refined tastes. If ketchup tastes good on hot dogs... well then it must taste good on balogna, too. eat rolled up slices of balogna dipped in ketchup... who cares if it makes mom gag? She knows nothing of fine cuisine.

but seriously. JJ is the happiest, sweetest kid. He makes all of us laugh. He is hilariously funny and really cute.
He LOVES the nursery. He loves music time and snack time. His prayers are awesome, and if Heavenly Father isn't busy... we should all be going to Nursery every day, we should also all be blessed to have fun and be good every day. He has also gotten a year and a half head start on praying for "fun in school".
And I am going out on a limb here - but how many other people on the planet are praying for Sponge Bob? My kid is special.

He loves Daddy. He is trying so hard to be so much like him.
Recently he was being pushed along on his new bike. He was not looking at the road or even trying to pedal. He could not take his eyes off of the chain and how it turned - moving the pedals. He was figuring it out. Just like Dad.

He loves Sissy beyond words. He looks up to her, he laughs when she laughs, he hurts when she is hurt, she is his best friend.

My favorite thing about both of my kids is how much they look out for each other. Just try to give one of them a treat... they always need another to give the other.
Today Joseph ACCIDENTALLY bonked Sis on the head with the broom. She immediately burst into loud tears.
"Joseph - say you're sorry to Sis"
"I sorry, Sis."
Then he grabs her shirt and says, "come down here, Sis".
I gave her "the eye". Do it, Sis.
He took her face in his hands and said, "I give you a kiss, Sis"
Then he gave her a booger-y, probably slobbery kiss on the cheek.
Karina and I laughed.

My mom loves to tell people stories that embarrass us. She tells me how when I was born (the first) I made her feel like a great parent, so smart, like she knew exactly what she was doing...
Then my sister Danielle was born.

That is precisely how I feel about my kids. Karina makes me feel like I could totally do this whole "parenting" thing. Joseph keeps me humble.

We all love you, Ton boy. You are the best baby brother in this whole entire house.

at least not today

Next week I will have a three year old again.
but not today.
Today I have a two year old baby.
he has chubby cheeks and stinky diapers.
Yesterday at church, in an effort to get him to be reverent during the Sacrament,
I said, "Let's think about Jesus."
"ok"
"What did Jesus do?"
"He sang."
"Yes. He sang! What did he sing?"
"Jingle Bells!"
...
Then I was no longer be reverent either.