The Maid Does Not Live Here

She went home a few hours ago.
There are parts of this house that are sparkling, that have not sparkled since they were placed there by the home builder... about 18 years ago.

All visits to my home have been suspended unless you are willing to sign a waiver, absolving me from the responsibility of cleaning up after you. Enter at your own risk - you may now be responsible for cleaning up somebody else's mess while you are here.

Daddy will now only reside in the house from the hours of 7 p.m. - 4 p.m. Mon - Fri.. He has signed a contract paying me for my cleaning services on Saturdays in kind. Sundays - he is permitted to stay here until we leave for church - then he lives with his mother til Monday.

We are sad to report that the children could not afford my services, they have chosen to move in with Speedy - in the garden.