Dearest Father

Dearest Father,

It is 0800 hours and I would like to keep you informed of my activities this morning.

I know you will be impressed with my own developing work ethic.

I began the morning at 0600 sharp. I made sure to wake my sleeping sister with a resounding Reveille that would rival any lazy rooster.

While mom made herself busy bathing my sister, I took her toothbrush and detailed the wall and television. Both are now as shiny as they were when new.

I attempted to teach Mom not to leave me by myself at the breakfast table, and told her to drop and give me twenty while she cleaned up my apple juice.

I relieved all of the VCR tapes and DVD's of their duty... standing guard in the cabinet under the tv. I also relieved every single one of the jackets and cases they were contained in.

Upon finding an enemy combatant in the pantry closet, I sought him out and destroyed him. Unfortunately there was a casualty. An entire bag of 15 bean soup that Mommy had been hiding in there. Collateral Damage.

I must say farewell, Father. I have a busy day ahead for the cause of steeling my fortress from the enemy... that is my Sister.

with love,
your adoring protege,
Ton Boy

p.s. Mother is in a bad mood.?