...you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand...yeah breathe
Just breathe, ohho breathe
The artist is Anna Nalick.
Ugh. I can hardly stand to even read the words, but it has been an "A ha" moment for me. I have never dreaded the passing of time more than I do now.
Yesterday I decided to work on some journaling and I was getting help from Guero on adding pictures. We got stuck looking at old pictures of Karina... and ourselves. Karina is so grown up. And myself and Guero... we are older.
In a few short months I will be 30. In that dreaded time, Karina will go back to school, turn five, Guero will be 30 as well, and JJ will have his first steps, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Instead of running forward to greet new birthdays that bring driver's licenses, voting rites, and lower car insurance, I am digging my heels in. Time just keeps pushing you forward. You can't stop it. It is like sand running out of an hour glass.
All that we can do it treasure it. Make better moments.
Some occasions when I just wanted time to stand still...
a grainy copy of a copy, but a rare photo of us before marriage... at the San Diego Zoo. This was our first trip together. We had just gotten engaged and worked on buying our first house on this trip.
A picture of seemingly nothing, but whenever I see it, I think of a moment that I wanted to capture in time. The sky was really beautiful minutes before Karina Sky was born... so terrified, but all I could was look out the oval shaped windows at Good Sam and wait. 
Another rare moment, when I allowed myself to be photographed with one of my kids. Disneyland, Karina just turned two. These next few months when so many milestones are achieved: the moments will be better... longer lasting... and more frequent, and I will participate in them.
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