The prince of charming and his boring wife

My husband knows that he is funny.
Everybody laughs at all of his jokes.
He is funny.

He has the ability witness a situation and reduce it to the simplest form. His observations on the obvious are generally amusing.

One, who is not the subject of much of his sarcasm, might call him... charming.

One time we were musing about what inherited traits our children got from us.
I have made this lame comment so many times, I am tired of hearing myself say it... but people get a little chuckle when I do,

The set-up: (scene: a frequent occurance - strangers - mostly geriatrics - stop to admire my gorgeous children. They touch JJ's feet or want to pat Karina on the head. They need to tell me that they are the MOST beautiful children they have ever seen.)

me: (obnoxiously confident) I know.

Nice Grandma: (confused at my confidence, but laughing a little) "Oh, well you should be proud"

me: "Yea, I tell them all the time they are lucky that they have such a pretty Daddy because Mommy had some ugly boyfriends before him."

Nice Grandma: (gets a little laugh)

me: (pleased with myself... in an aside) that worked, I think I might try that one again.

(p.s. for all those who are sick of that one - I will try to retire it... but... it works nearly every time, so I can't promise anything!)

So, they definitely got some pretty genes from Daddy.

While Daddy is also brilliant, I have to take a little credit for the genius... after all... brains and eyelashes may be all the genetic power that I am contributing to these perfect specimens.

Then we got to the funny. Who gave them the funny?

My husband was incredulous that I would even attempt to assert that I was funny enough to contribute as much as a funny bone.

"Wife (yea, he calls me wife because he knows it is irritating and the least endearing thing he can call me), seriously. I am the funny one."

"But, Babe I am funny, too. People laugh at me sometimes"

"Wife. I am the funny one. Everybody knows it. Let's call my mom and ask her 'Who is funnier - me or you.'"

(because I am not insinuating that by giving them the genes for brains that I am THE brightest bulb... agree to call HIS mom to ask who is funnier... me or HIM)

"Ma, Quien es mas chistoso? Yo o Nicole?"

"Tu, hijo bonito"

(gag me with a spoon)

Grinning from ear to ear, he hangs up.

"See, wife."

(duh) "Well, that is not fair, call my mom and ask my mom.

He calls her... and you have to read this and see that he is using his "salesman voice".

"Hiiiii Cindy. How are ya?! Me, oh I'm fine. Listen, I wanted to ask you, who is funnier, me or Nikki?"

without missing a single stinkin beat my mom says, "oh you. You are really funny!"

Ugh.

Needless to say, that is not a "battle of wits" that I will enter again.

But I still hold out a little hope that somebody, somewhere finds me a fraction as amusing as they do him...

So, I open my email this morning to this message from a fellow blogger adding me to their site:

"Hi,
You have been added to the Witty Women category!
Thanks,..."

Uh huh, folks. There ya go. Somebody thinks I'm funny. It's the best Friday ever and it is only 6 a.m.